Well the title says it all…
I haven’t blogged or used Instagram in a while, I’m taking a guess that it’s from being a bit down about my body and wanting to avoid anything to do with P A.
anyway…. I thought it might be useful to start using this again even if it’s maybe a place for me to vent… which is what this post is going to be so let’s get into it…
I struggle with letting people in but also I constantly feel like no one understands. I guess it’s hard for someone who gets an ache or pain to know what it’s like to have it 24/7. I guess it’s hard for someone to understand why I might hate my skin covered in red sore patches when they have smooth ‘normal’ skin.
Recently I’ve felt like everyone around me expects me to have my life together and be someone I’m not. When in reality me being able to get out of bed in the morning is enough. And that’s not the depressed ‘I can’t get out of bed… I need to hibernate’ kinda thing. It’s the ‘okay so my fingers, hands, wrists, elbows, knees and ankles hurt so far this morning’ kinda thing.
That’s my norm at the moment… taking a lot longer to get out of bed because I’m in agony… crying because I wish I could just get up and not be in pain or worry that today is going to be a bad day.
So maybe that’s why I don’t have my life together at the moment. I can’t function like a normal human being. And I wish people would just understand that.
My health is unfortunately something that seems to be taking over my life, that doesn’t make me lazy, it doesn’t make me not want to do things everyone else my age is doing… it makes me so bloody damn sad that I can’t just do normal things like everyone else.
I wish everyday I didn’t have this disease.
So please just be a little nicer because you don’t know why people like me don’t have their lives together.
The Lovely Health 